Schumi, Ferrari, Mercedes and Liquid Oxygen..

Raabert:Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Boss(Loyan):Raabert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.

I understand why the Scuderia family had to sign Alonso. We had been missing you for the past three years. We felt a little bit lost. We wanted some one who could be our anchor. Who could motivate us. Give us a sense of purpose. Who could push the car development. Who could give 1.25X if we gave him to work with X. In short, we were looking for your clone.

And we got one. Fernando's work ethic and motivation skills remind you. His career path looks the same too (you won 2 championships in Benetton, he won 2 in Renault, which is practically the same team). You came to Ferrari when you were achieving your peak powers, he is doing the same.

And the family had to look for some one who can lead them for a lot more years to come.

Now, you are 41 years old. Have nothing left to achieve or prove. But, you never drove for record books. You became a Formula 1 pilot because that is all you could do. That is all you can think. Who can forget those unforgettable seasons of 96,97,98 when we could not win the titles? You gave your everything and extracted performance from the car that was not humanly possible. Who can forget those countless days that you stayed in a modest apartment on the Fiorano test track and kept testing the car from day break to dawn,all in the pursuit of finding that elusive 0.1 second performance gain? And as the night fell, you jumped in to your road car, drove to the nearby pizzeria, ordered for every one in the team and had a marathon debrief session on the day's testing activities.

The team felt they owed you. The people of Maranello felt you were one among them. They even made you their honorary citizen. The Tifosi world wide were rejuvenated. And we achieved glory. What a glory it was!! You broke all the records in the books. Stupid columnists started complaining that Formula 1 was becoming boring (especially in 2002 and 2004) when you started dominating like never before in the history of sport.

But you had to retire one day. That day came in 2006 when you decided that you did not want to quit the sport when you are not in the possession of peak powers.

For the next three years, you didn't know what to do. You sat on the Ferrari pit wall some times. You helped in their road car development. But, there was some emptiness. You tried your hand at 2 wheel racing. You attended one or two carting events and events like race of champions. You either won them or came runners up (almost all of them).

Then the opportunity came in the form of Massa's injury. When our president called you to substitute, it did not take you 5 minutes to accept. You started exercising and testing like crazy. But the injury you sustained falling from a bike was deemed to be too dangerous to let you drive at that time. You were shattered. Tifosi were shattered. We had really been looking forward to your come back.

Now, the opportunity came knocking again. How could you say no to Ross Brawn? Remember, Mercedes might have helped you become a driver when you were young, but it was Ferrari that gave you all the glory and immortality..

A Tifoso is some one who sticks with the team irrespective of how the season goes. We had many bad patches before and we had extremely good ones too. But, what you are doing now puts us in a dilemma. What should I do? What should I feel? When I wake up at 5:30 AM to watch the race, who should I support? You are a member of the family. But, you are driving for the rival.

So,here are my rules and the Tifosi might banish me for doing this.
--I know that Scuderia will be there for ever. I also know that this is your last hurrah.I will support you even if iI kills me to oppose Ferrari.
--The support is strictly for you and you alone.
-- I don't care for Mercedes team or brand. They are second grade and can never aspire to be what Ferrari are.
--The moment you quit, I will support who ever is driving for Ferrari..

Now, go and have fun on the track. Hope to see you get 100 victories and may be a title too..

Telangana can be a win-win

Fact: Majority of Telangana people want a separate state. Infact they have a genuine case.
Fact: Majority of people opposing Telangana in Telangana region (not Andhra or Rayalseema) are from Hyderabad/Secunderabad. They are mainly of two categories-
Settlers from Andhra/Rayalseema who worry about their jobs and properties in Hyderabad
OR people who genuinely worry that the growth engine in Hyderabad will stop if it becomes a part of Telangana
Declaration of separate Telangana state might still be a good thing to happen. One, you would not want to make a martyr of a crook like KCR. Two, there is nothing much to lose for Telangana as it is already scraping the bottom.
The most important thing for a win-win would be to make Hyderabad a union territory like Chandigarh.So, even as the center was announcing the creation of separate Telangana, a group of legislators from Hyderabad submitted a memorandum to make Hyderabad a Union Territory.They cited the lack of support for TRS in the recently held corporation elections..Sonia Gandhi is smarter than people give her credit for(I personally hate the dynasty..).
It might turn out all right after-all.

Act of God!

From an imaginary scene in Tarantino's Pulp Fiction--

Jules: Man, I just been sitting here thinking.
Vincent: About what?
Jules: About the miracle we just witnessed.
Vincent: The miracle you witnessed. I witnessed a freak occurrence.
Jules: What is a miracle, Vincent?
Vincent: An act of God.
Jules: And what's an act of God?
Vincent: When, um … God makes the impossible possible … but yesterday I don't think it qualifies.
Jules: Hey, Vincent, don't you see? That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or HE changed Coke to Pepsi, or HE made Viru bat the way he did yesteday. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

One and only Spa!

The Debut, Circa 1991:

Bertrand Gachot did something very stupid. In the heat of the moment, with out thinking about the consequences, he sprayed CS gas (tear gas) in to the eyes of a London cab driver after getting in to an altercation with him. He was later arrested and incarcerated for 2 months.

Eddie Jordan, the team principal of Jordan Grand Prix was in a quandary. He had to quickly find some one to substitute Bertrand for the up coming grandprix at Spa Francorchamps in Belgium. He started making enquiries about this talented lad who impressed the team in a test conducted at Silverstone.When he asked Willi Weber, the manager of the said driver, if he knew Spa well, he responded in affirmative. Now, this was an out right lie. The driver had only been to Spa as a spectator and had never driven there before.

During the race weekend, the said driver learnt the track by cycling on the fold up bicycle that he took along with him. The paddock immediately knew they were witnessing the debut of a great talent when he out-qualified his vastly experienced team mate and put the uncompetitive Jordan 7th on the grid. It's a different matter though that he could not finish even a lap of the actual race as the clutch broke.

Exactly one year later, at the same track, in wet conditions, the said driver registered his first of 91 Formula One victories. And thus started the legend of Michael Schumacher.

The greatest ever?

Eau Rouge is arguably the most famous corner in Formula One. The Eau Rouge/Raidillon complex is where men are separated from boys. After the start, the drivers negotiate the slow hair pin at La Source and are going steep downhill when they suddenly come across a 90 degree left hander and a steep uphill. Infact,the drivers cannot see the corner before they can commit the car. It is here that the great drivers make up lap time as the lesser talented ones lift the throttle for a wee bit.

Nestled in the idyllic forest of Ardennes, with fast corners, steep elevation changes and it's own micro weather- it can rain heavily in one part of the track and the other part can be bone dry- Spa Francorchamps is considered to be one one of the most challenging circuits ever (along with Nordschleife, the old Nurburgring, which is not raced on anymore).

And, who do you think won the maximum number of times at Spa ?

clue: First name starts with M and Last name starts with S :)

Hungarian GP

A poor cousin:
Budapest might be a beautiful city but Hungaroring is a boring track. It is tight and twisty and overtaking is nigh impossible. It is very much like Monaco but with out the glitz,glamor,girls and Yatchs.

All about tyres:
It is going to be a race of attrition and like all other races this season thus far, tyres will play an important role. Formula One tyres typically operate in a narrow band of temperatures. Any less heat in them and it will cause blisters and any more heat in them and it will cook them up.

The Brawns have taken a back seat in the last two races but they encountered lower than expected temperatures and had difficulty in bringing up their tyres to optimum temperature. Budapest is predicted to be hot, and it would be interesting to see if they bounce back. Meanwhile, Redbulls lead by Vettel (I am sure Webber is a one-race wonder), are playing hunters and they have nothing to lose and will be at their aggressive best.

Tactics:
1998 was the season that sealed Michael Schumacher's reputation as one of the all time great drivers. Going in to Hungary, he was 16 points behind Mika Hakkinen in an inferior Ferrari. The fact that he could keep the gap to 16 points up until that point was in itself a miracle.

Qualifying exposed the gap between McLaren and Ferrari as Schumacher could only manage third behing Hakkinen and Coulthard. What was more worrying was the fact that Hakkinen's pole position time was a second quicker.

The race started badly for Schumacher as McLaren did what any team that locks the front row does- as Hakkinen was pulling out a lead, Coulthard was acting as a buffer and controlling and slowing down Schumacher. More bad news came in the form of Eddie Irvine's, Schumacher's team mate,retirement due to gearbox failure on lap 13.

Half-way through the race, things were not looking up and Ferrari badly need a game-changer.It was on lap 44 that, Ross Brawn, the then Technical Director and pit stop guru of Ferrari (his is now the principal of Brawn GP), known for his quick thinking came up with a brilliant strategy that only a genius like Schumacher could implement. He called in Schumacher for a pit stop that created confusion in the McLaren camp. Was he having a problem on the car or was he going for an extra pit-stop?

Schumacher was short-fueled and sent out. Shortly after, Ross Brawn came on the radio and calmly told him that he was switched from the planned two-stopper to three-stopper and for it to work, he would have to build a gap of 25 seconds in next 19 laps. A lesser driver might have hollered back "are you f***ing insane" but Schumacher being Schumacher just said "OK".The next 19 laps were a demonstration of Schumacher's skills and precision. With a lighter car and clear air, he was sublime and reeled in fast lap after fast lap and each lap was like a qualifying lap and on the edge. McLaren could not believe what was happening and there was kerfuffle in their pits.

With in the next 25 minutes, Schumacher turned the race on it's head and came ahead of McLarens after his splash and dash final stop .From that point on, it was a simple matter of controlling the pace and crossing the finish line.

This was a race that threw the spot light on pit stop strategies in Formula One. However one should remember that strategizing is one thing but implementing is an entirely different thing. Ross Brawn and Michael Schumacher perfectly complemented each other in that respect and even though they could not win the championship that year or the next, they won 5 consecutive championships thereafter, making them the most successful Technical Director-Driver combination in Formula One history.


What's in a Steering Wheel?:



Forget the G-Forces, forget the braking distances, forget the set up skills required (wing, camber, gear ratios etc etc). It would be interesting to see how Jamie Alguersuari, the youngest driver to debut in Formula One deals with his steering wheel.

Formula One steering wheel is a an incredibly complex device. It is filled with numerous buttons, each one performing a specific task. There is a button to adjust fuel mixture, there is one to adjust the forward-to-rear brake bias, there is one to engage pit lane speed limiter, there is one to switch on the radio to communicate with the pits, so on and so forth.

He has never driven a Formula One car before and will have a very short learning curve. With a ban on in-season testing, he did not have an opportunity to come up to speed in the relaxed environs of a testing session.

Finally,
It would surprise me:
If Alonso is not driving a Ferrari next year
If Jean Todt does not become the president of FIA in October elections..

Of OxiClean and Transformers!

There is nothing subtle about Billy Mays(may his soul rest in peace) selling OxiClean. His abrasive, high pitch and in-your-face demonstration is not only irritating but also leaves you cringing for remote. But,then again, it also leaves you in no doubt about the efficacy and efficiency of OxiClean.

Though I am a big fan, there is also nothing subtle about the orgy of violence in the fight between Autobots and Decepticons. Plucked straight out of a wild fantasy of a pre-teenage mind, Transformers is a cult phenomenon that rides on high-tech special effects and over-the-top action sequences. It has little time for story and lot's of time for story-telling. One can safely lock one's brain in a strong vault before one sits down to watch, admire and experience the big O as giant robots smash in to each other and create a trail of havoc and destruction.

What,pray tell, is the link between OxiClean and Transformers one might ask?
It's called as GenADD (as in Attention Defecit Disorder). It's an evolution of GenX (or is it GenY? Who the hell knows?). It has a short attention span,an exaggerated sense of self importance/belief and in general tries to be hip. On a typical day, it is busy with myriad of activities like sleeping, eating, meeting, texting (on iPhone), posting (on Facebook "walls"), tweeting (on Twitter) and, depending on luck,mating. It has hardly any time to spare.

Kudos to Billy Mays and Michael Bay!! You are the winners of "Grab the eye balls" competition.